I am SO over not having the sunshine! Being a person who struggles with depression (self diagnosed) I am easily susceptible to weather, other people, and stress effecting my mood. The last month we have been fogged in or shaded by loads of clouds here in the sunny state of Cali. I HATE IT! Couple that with being sick, stress of the delayed Christmas celebration, and everyday stress of life and being mommy and it is a BAD combo. The last few days I have been in the worst funk. I am not able to get anything done around the house, I am short and impatient with my kids, and I haven't been to the gym in a week. (That's because of my own sickness and my Biggest Boy having some random, intermittent fever and the Littlest Man having a snotty nose.)
Since I am unable to do anything "routine" I am all out of whack. If I could get away with doing absolutely nothing, I would. Thankfully I am able to meet the kids needs. They get me going and, for the most part, keep me going throughout the day. I can't say I am going to win any "Mommy of the Year" awards but, we get by. Unfortunately, my diet has also suffered which makes me feel worse. I have gained weight and I feel bloated and clouded mentally. I know that not eating healthy is directly related to my emotions and to my energy level.
So, here I am again, starting over. I told myself that I would make Monday my fresh start. Hopefully, by then, everyone will be healthy and we can settle back into a routine. Diet, gym, school, housekeeping, cooking, resting and feeling good. It is such a bummer that my New Year's resolutions basically went down the toilet so quickly but, I guess it should be more about being adaptable and getting back on the wagon. As long as I am *trying* to be the person (wife, mom and Ericka) that I want to be then I should give myself some credit. :)
Friday, January 14, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Our Hero Is Going Home...
Tomorrow morning my little brother, the United States Navy Sailor, returns home to Norfolk, Virgina. I am so proud of my little brother and the man that he has become. Who knew that such a quite and shy little boy could grow into such a strapping and brave young man?
We miss that he is not here. He doesn't get to see his nephews often or us for that matter. Luckily, he is able to have his wife there with him and he isn't often out to sea. Together they are learning that being "grown ups" isn't really as fun as it looked from the other side of 18. They are young but, they are good kids and they will continue to be blessed for the hardworkers that they are.
Oh, to be young and in love like that again...before the kids and the mortgage and the stress. If only I had known to appreciate those days for what they were!
We miss that he is not here. He doesn't get to see his nephews often or us for that matter. Luckily, he is able to have his wife there with him and he isn't often out to sea. Together they are learning that being "grown ups" isn't really as fun as it looked from the other side of 18. They are young but, they are good kids and they will continue to be blessed for the hardworkers that they are.
Oh, to be young and in love like that again...before the kids and the mortgage and the stress. If only I had known to appreciate those days for what they were!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I have NO time for this!
It has been a VERY busy week around here! Because my husband's family is spread all over kingdom come it is hard to get everyone all together. I take the organizing of dinner and all on myself so that it actually happens every year. So, this last weekend I hosted ANOTHER Christmas dinner for about 20 people. With all the stress of having the in-laws coming into town and staying with us, preparing the house, shopping and preparing all of the food for dinner PLUS, getting the "normal" routine back, this week has kicked my booty! As I should have expected, once it was all over and the last guest had left, I started coming down with a cold. FUCK. Mommies can't get sick, especially not this mommy who's husband left on a 48 hour shift the next morning.
Monday I took a very needed lazy day. Thank G*d the kids cooperated and we ALL had a lazy day in jammies eating left over junk food. :) It was so nice! Last night though I had 2 little boys wake up. One was sick, 102 degree fever and screaming his head off about a headache. The baby was WIDE awake from 2am-4am thinking it was party time. I pray that tonight is better for ALL of us!
So, this week was supposed to be about really starting back to "normal" for my family has turned into a lazy week of trying (desperately) not to get any sicker. I guess I should use my "down" time to organize lists, craft projects, create new schedules and such for my family. There is a lot I *could* be doing and still be resting. Wish me luck! LOL
Monday I took a very needed lazy day. Thank G*d the kids cooperated and we ALL had a lazy day in jammies eating left over junk food. :) It was so nice! Last night though I had 2 little boys wake up. One was sick, 102 degree fever and screaming his head off about a headache. The baby was WIDE awake from 2am-4am thinking it was party time. I pray that tonight is better for ALL of us!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Healthy Habits
So, last year my New Year's resolution was to lose weight. I was carrying around about 50lbs left over from having babies. I HATED the woman I saw in the mirror. That wasn't me. That reflection did not show the person that I felt I was. She was tired, obese (by silly government BMI standards), unhappy, and unhealthy. January 5 I started Atkins', made the gym part of our daily routine, and with a little motivation in the form of a supplement, I started losing weight. I felt GREAT. I lost 50lbs in about 6 months. Not only did I lose the baby weight, I got toned. I have muscles!
The accomplishment of setting my mind to something and actually completing it feels amazing! And, I was finally able to do something for ME. In a round about way it was for my kids but, mainly, it was for me. So, now that I have done that, the goal is to keep the weight off. That shouldn't be too hard though. I have realized that we all benefit from having the gym be a regular part of the routine. Also, I know how much better I feel physically when I am eating low carb so, that is pretty easy to maintain. Sure, I splurge now and again but, over all, I know how to eat to maximize my body's full potential.
This year I plan to fine tune my machine (body) and try to start cutting out bad habits I have that limit my full potential. Who knows? Maybe I will be a runner by the end of the year? Doubtful, but you never know. :)
The accomplishment of setting my mind to something and actually completing it feels amazing! And, I was finally able to do something for ME. In a round about way it was for my kids but, mainly, it was for me. So, now that I have done that, the goal is to keep the weight off. That shouldn't be too hard though. I have realized that we all benefit from having the gym be a regular part of the routine. Also, I know how much better I feel physically when I am eating low carb so, that is pretty easy to maintain. Sure, I splurge now and again but, over all, I know how to eat to maximize my body's full potential.
This year I plan to fine tune my machine (body) and try to start cutting out bad habits I have that limit my full potential. Who knows? Maybe I will be a runner by the end of the year? Doubtful, but you never know. :)
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Making this a tradition. Hilarious!
How funny is it that I last posted on my other blog exactly one year ago today? Actually, it's pretty pathetic. I guess I need to make getting my feelings out more of a priority.
I considered starting this blog with a recap of the last year but, decided that isn't what I want to do, at least not right now. For now, I want to look forward to the coming months and experiences. This year is guaranteed to be another full and exciting time for me and my family!
I started off the New Year setting a few goals for myself. In no particular order of importance they are:
-get organized
-start my official conversion to Judaism
-go to bed earlier
Nothing too major really, save for the conversion. Sadly, I really have no idea where to start. Overall, the goal is to be closer to G*d but, after praying about it, my heart told me that I need to be more connected to Israel and the Torah. In my mind, being a part of the community at Temple will be a step in that direction. Also, it will help me to have a time and a place to expose the boys to Judaism. This is going to be quite a process and it will take much time and prayer. I look forward to the spiritual growth that I am sure to experience in the coming months.
I NEED organization. NOW. Having 3 young boys and being alone most days (and nights) of the week, I have A LOT of responsibilities that fall solely on my shoulders. I crave routine and stability. I have to break the bad habits of procrastination and hoarding (yes, I may end up as one of those crazy old people about to be buried under papers in my home). At least I can see the tendency and I am prepared to hit it head on, if I can find the time.
I say that I want to go to bed earlier and I do, some times. Honestly, the time after the kids go to bed is HEAVEN. Going to bed early just cuts into the little bit of time that I get each day to be, well, ME. It's my time to finish things I didn't get done, Facebook, read, watch TV, hang out with my hubby. It is necessary for me to maintain my sanity through out the day. If I can have some down time and clear my head then I can handle a bit of tiredness the next day. The bad thing is that it does tend to catch up to me and eventually I need a chance to try to catch up in the sleep department.
So that is it. I am starting off 2011 with a positive attitude and realistic(ish) goals. I can do it, I know I can. I just have to set my mind to it and make the list of priorities. Hopefully, it won't be another year before I post again on this blog either. :)
I considered starting this blog with a recap of the last year but, decided that isn't what I want to do, at least not right now. For now, I want to look forward to the coming months and experiences. This year is guaranteed to be another full and exciting time for me and my family!
I started off the New Year setting a few goals for myself. In no particular order of importance they are:
-get organized
-start my official conversion to Judaism
-go to bed earlier
Nothing too major really, save for the conversion. Sadly, I really have no idea where to start. Overall, the goal is to be closer to G*d but, after praying about it, my heart told me that I need to be more connected to Israel and the Torah. In my mind, being a part of the community at Temple will be a step in that direction. Also, it will help me to have a time and a place to expose the boys to Judaism. This is going to be quite a process and it will take much time and prayer. I look forward to the spiritual growth that I am sure to experience in the coming months.
I NEED organization. NOW. Having 3 young boys and being alone most days (and nights) of the week, I have A LOT of responsibilities that fall solely on my shoulders. I crave routine and stability. I have to break the bad habits of procrastination and hoarding (yes, I may end up as one of those crazy old people about to be buried under papers in my home). At least I can see the tendency and I am prepared to hit it head on, if I can find the time.
I say that I want to go to bed earlier and I do, some times. Honestly, the time after the kids go to bed is HEAVEN. Going to bed early just cuts into the little bit of time that I get each day to be, well, ME. It's my time to finish things I didn't get done, Facebook, read, watch TV, hang out with my hubby. It is necessary for me to maintain my sanity through out the day. If I can have some down time and clear my head then I can handle a bit of tiredness the next day. The bad thing is that it does tend to catch up to me and eventually I need a chance to try to catch up in the sleep department.
So that is it. I am starting off 2011 with a positive attitude and realistic(ish) goals. I can do it, I know I can. I just have to set my mind to it and make the list of priorities. Hopefully, it won't be another year before I post again on this blog either. :)
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